I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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