This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
