i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
