White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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