Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
