If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
do herpes really smell.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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