Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
