I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
