Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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