We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
