their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize