what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
