There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
