So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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