I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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