Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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