I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
