I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
