Me too!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
