I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I would fuck him just for his dog
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Congratulations! We have a period
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