apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
