Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
