It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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