Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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