The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
