She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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