using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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