So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
