I could have mohawked her pubes.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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