what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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