I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize