Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize