ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
