How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
