If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
