please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
