All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
