That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize