I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
