I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
