thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
