id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
