She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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