Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
