is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
