wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
