you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
