ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
