marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
