i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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