census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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