OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
