Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
