you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
