tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
