Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
