If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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