You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
