Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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