Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize