But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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