may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
it's like iHOP with fire
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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